Care Partner of the Month: Stévin Méléro
New York Care Partner of the Month: Stévin Méléro
“Listen to your calling. If you have a gift, use it.”
Stévin clowning around with one of his former clients.
by Corey Bliss
Stévin Méléro is a true empath, in every sense of the word. Extraordinarily intuitive, sensitive, and selfless, Stévin’s calm, gentle demeanor immediately puts you at ease. But he also knows the value of a well-timed joke — or a delicious homemade cake — to break the ice in any situation.
Born on Long Island to a Puerto Rican family, Stévin identifies as a “real New Yorker – I love the city life!” With over 31 years of experience as a home health aide — over 6 of those with Renewal Memory Partners — supporting older adults in his beloved New York City is Stévin’s life’s work.
“I first started in homecare because I was caring for my grandmother who had a form of dementia from a stroke. She was bedridden for 5 years and my sisters and I were taking care of her. We had a home health aide who was phenomenal. I enjoyed taking care of my grandmother, and was inspired by the great work that her aide did,” he says. “I heard a calling.”
Stévin began his career in nursing homes and hospice programs when he was just 19 years old, caring for AIDS patients at the height of the epidemic. He continued that work for 24 years in many different hospitals across New York City. Stévin gained a wealth of knowledge from those experiences, from holistic medical treatments to how to advocate for his clients’ welfare. “I met so many people within the AIDS community. As a gay man, it made me stronger and made me become an activist,” he shares.
Stévin found his home at Renewal Memory Partners (“RMP”) through a former colleague who was working with RMP. She personally recommended him to join the team as a Care Partner, and the rest is history. “Everything was peaceful,” he explains. “I had this good feeling like I belonged there – I felt so welcomed. They matched me with a client – I had never heard of such a thing! Ever since then it’s been an amazing learning experience. I’ve made friends for life.”
“Music and quiet time alone allow me to open myself up to my clients and find out who they are.”
A deeply spiritual person, Stévin has an innate ability to connect with the essence of a person and completely enter their world. For him, going above and beyond is the rule, not the exception.
He once accompanied a client to his son’s wedding after months of working with him to improve his concentration and focus. “While everyone was dancing, he was in his chair, focusing like we had practiced. I asked him what he was doing, and he said, ‘I’m dancing.’ He was dancing in his mind, participating in his own way. It was so important that I got him in the right frame of mind to enjoy his son’s wedding.” In doing so, Stévin helped his client and his family create irreplaceable memories.
To establish a strong foundation with his clients, Stévin has found that music and quiet time alone “allow me to open myself up to them and find out who they are.” He creates space for a shared experience that is private and, in a way, sacred: “I only sing to my clients when I’m alone with them – it's something only we share together.” Having spent time in his youth recording music and performing at different venues around the city, Stévin has “a large collection of songs that I know by heart, so I always find something that they like.”
“Repetition is simple yet very grounding. It really helps reduce anxiety.”
Repetition is also key to building trust. Stévin frames each activity as a ritual to bring comfort and security and create new sensory associations. For instance, when assisting someone with bathing or getting dressed, he uses touch “in a gentle, comforting way – the same way every time.”
When he’s out and about with a client, Stevin establishes a routine by taking the same route every time and walking hand in hand with them so that they feel safe and know their surroundings. He also relies on repetitive phrases to orient clients to their home, like repeating their apartment building number. “It’s simple yet very grounding. It really helps reduce anxiety,” he explains.
Stévin recalls one experience where his creative, person-centered approach came in quite handy. He and his client were out for a walk in the neighborhood, but she didn’t want to go home when it was time to take her medication. Stévin deftly flipped the dynamic and put himself in her position by saying, “It’s time for me to take my medication, but I left my pills upstairs.” Replacing her need with his need actually inspired his client to help him: she went straight home to ensure Stévin could “take his medication,” and sure enough, took her medication as well.
Stévin could fill a book (or two) with his remarkable stories and singular insights. He once met Bette Midler after an impromptu invitation to her brother’s birthday party – his client attended the soiree every year — and they “shared a wink and a nod.” Another time, he took a client’s dog for a walk and the dog led him all over the West Village in NYC, showing him all of his client’s favorite LGBTQ-friendly hangout spots. “The dog knew exactly where to go – it was amazing. When we got back, I told my client, ‘your dog told me all about you!’”
“I started to learn how to make my own cakes so that we could really bake together.”
The master at work!
Among his many talents, Stévin is a self-taught baker extraordinaire – but, as you might expect by this point in his story, it all started with and ties back to his clients. “The baking started with one of my former clients who only used to bake regular boxed cake mixes. So, I started to learn how to make my own cakes so that we could really bake together. I learned for free by following Gretchen Price on YouTube for years.”
Stévin’s signature recipe is a chocolate lava cake that uses 7 different types of dark and milk chocolate, but he loves making cupcakes. When one of his clients started refusing to eat, he made cupcakes for her and created a shared experience by having her choose the decorations. Sure enough, she ate nearly the entire batch!
One of Stévin’s masterpieces - a couture peacock cake!
Stévin’s devotion to his clients is matched only by his devotion to his family. He shares his love of baking, music, and time well spent with his partner of 16 years and their blended family. He lights up when he shares stories about his two grandchildren, ages 5 and 8 months. “We all get along great – his [my partner’s] ex-wife, his two sons, and the grandkids,” he shares. “It’s such a blessing.”
After over three decades of caring for others, Stévin says that his experiences have “enriched me and enabled me to see that we’re all on the same path. We’re all connected. That’s why you have to listen to your calling. If you have a gift, use it.”